by Ellen Carroll on March 15, 2009

Little Women, Miss March, Movie Reviews, Trevor Moore, Zack Cregger

I thought I’d give the movie a couple days at the box office before I let the world know what I thought about it. But now that they’ve raked in some dough, it’s time to get down to the nasty truth… Miss March is just another teen sex movie. Having once been a teenager myself, I’ve seen my fair share. Being far past teen-dom now, however, I can honestly say I’ve had enough of them to last a lifetime. Particularly these new-age teen movies that run rampant with sex (not just innuendos anymore), drugs, alcohol and worse language than you would hear in a bar full of members of an angry pirate fraternity (which I assume is the epitome of vulgarity).

The story in itself was interesting… A teenager in love with his high school sweetheart chooses not to have random sex like the rest of his buddies, but save himself for his true love. He is so passionate about abstinence that he takes it upon himself to teach elementary students about the evil of sex with a compelling slide show of horrible STDs. He’s certainly on the straight and narrow, but gives in to his sweet (also innocent) girlfriend when she decides that they’re ready to move on to, well…. you know. He promises her that they’ll do the deed on prom night and asks advice from his not-so-innocent best friend, who of course, gives way too much information. On the big night, he accepts a shot too many from his alcohol chugging buddy and dashes off to meet his girlfriend upstairs at the after-prom party. You’ve seen the trailers… instead of going upstairs, he tumbles down the basement steps, has a tool box (then a bookcase) fall on his head, and ends up in a coma. He wakes up four years later to find that his innocent high school sweetheart is now a Playboy bunny, Miss March.

Following the advice of his sex-crazed best friend, the boys set off on an unruly adventure, hitch a ride with lesbians, get chased by blood-thirsty firefighters, hop on the party bus of a crudely named rap artist, get kicked off the party bus and eventually reach their destination: the Playboy mansion.

Now, I’m not going to lie- there were parts of this movie that made me laugh so hard I almost cried. However, the incredible shame I felt when my mother asked me if I enjoyed the movie (I told her that Miss March was a prequel to Little Women…) was almost too much to handle. Having said that, I do have to strongly urge any parents out there to NOT let your kids see this movie.

Now that I’ve said that, Miss March is undoubtedly going to be very popular with the college crowd. Something I’ve noticed about this genre is that there is a growing number of ‘rising stars’ that are considerably more normal than your typical Hollywood type. While I can’t say that this movie will ever find its way into my personal DVD collection, it was interesting to meet the guys behind the movie. If you haven’t checked it out, hop on over to the Movie News section and read my interview with Zack Cregger and Trevor Moore, you may be surprised at just how ‘normal’ these guys are!

P.S. Please don’t tell your mother that Miss March is a prequel to Little Women. Then you’ll have to come up with another fantastic lie to keep her from wanting to see it…

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